mom i can’t go to school today i’m ugly
do you ever feel like you need to listen to a certain song otherwise you’ll explode
kinda wanna get laid kinda wanna sleep
realizing you were alive before some of your friends even existed
i accidentally spilled monster energy drink in my fish bowl and now my goldfish won’t stop saying “bro” and keeps flexing its fins
Just in case no one told you today:
- Good morning
- You’re beautiful
- I love you
- Nice butt
DTF: down to frolic
how to give a handjob:
1. grab boner mid-shaft
2. pump until confetti is released
3. party
im tired of things costing money